What a Monday Morning!

So I awoke to the horrible sound of our puppy crying to be let out – Yep my “adult” kids thought that a puppy would “cheer me up” last year… Great idea!

The “Cheer me up”, has now become the “nick my spoons” idea… Not that they understand that concept at all!

They were in bed (They had late starts at work today, so as they work & I obviously don’t) they deserve that lie in of course, so up I get (cracking & crying) & go downstairs to let her out, clear up the muddy paw prints & sweep & wash-up & clean & Blah Blah Blah, – Which stole all but about 5 spoons from me today.

By the time they arose, I was shouting at the poor dog & they were in turn shouting at me for being so bloody moany…..

Now they are out –

I am seated (hot water bottle – thank you) & dictating this – Here’s my points.

  1. Yes you may go to work – You have held down part time jobs (both of you) for almost 2 years – BUT I worked Full time whilst bringing you up, during Cancer treatments, Depression bouts, pregnancies, Sick children, sick me & divorce & deaths – All to keep a roof over your heads for over 30 years!
  2. Yes initially I may have tried to hide my illness from  you, But as you kept saying “why don’t you tell us what’s going on” – Well I did, I even showed you all the tablets & explained the problems & yet here I am – Spoons stolen & whacked out at midday again…
  3. I even denied this shitty diagnosis myself (in fact many days I still do) BUT whatever this is – it is REAL with very real symptoms and gaining support from family members who just don’t “get it” or aren’t as supportive as they could be is not only tricky it’s downright impossible in many many cases. BUT I’m not blaming you – I mean look at who you have as a Mother – The most obstinate, stubborn, self-sufficient bitch I’ve ever known & I am her!

So what do I want? What is this blog about?

I don’t even know – I just needed to whine to the ether that is the internet – Why? Because I can… Because another thing that happens when you become a Spoonie is the friends & social circle you had, disappears – it fades (as do you)….. So my on-line persona of me is there – pretending everything is ok – YEP – Me on Facebook & Twitter & sInsta,chat,Book,page,web land (the old me) is alive & well & selfie-ing (all touched up, re-brushed & bags removed) looking happy & smiley so no one knows… While me (spoonie) is ghosting around my house…. Carrying my phone to dictate into & a hot water bottle to sit with…

Sorry for the rant XXX

I am a Spoonie hear me roar

(Ok Whimper today)

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3 thoughts on “What a Monday Morning!

  1. Rant away! Despite me explaining the spoon theory and making my other half read it I do still get the stop moaning remark. I’m glad we have this outlet for our feelings and thoughts. So keep on ranting to us!

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  2. I never know where all my spoons have gone, but they must go somewhere because I rarely even get out of bed any more! This time last year, after a long illness and recovering from almost dying, I was regularly going out for five mile walks – and then got hit by CFS, which in turn made my epilepsy hit me harder. My husband gets it, but he’s the one who has to care for me every single day and knows that when I say I’ve had enough then I really *have* had enough.

    So rant away. You have as much right to a rant as anybody else, and no need to apologise x

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