For the last week, my Car has been in the garage (electrics problem).
To many people this is a massive inconvenience, for me, its proven how much I rely on my car (I knew this, but I didn’t KNOW it).
For someone who struggles with walking any distance on many days, just the sheer terror of thinking the gas or electric is running out (poxy key meters that us Social Housing tenants have to have) is so stressful, but knowing that the walk to the shop that supplies it will take an hour and will mean you could be in agony for days is absolutely soul destroying.
As Im writing this, I have 74p left on the electric… Ive used up about half my spoons already, cleaning the house & washing my hair (Go figure).. So I wanna cry…
This is a far cry from how I felt last week… I Hate Fibro & what it does.. BUT most of all I hate the fact that its so sneaky & when I look in the mirror, all I see is “me” – and all I feel is lazy & guilty.
Add to all this the cost of repairs and this month is wiped out – The stress adds to the issues Fibro brings – Its a vicious circle – One I really felt confident I was breaking, but again have had it slapped in my face, it was just sitting there waiting to jump on my back again 😦
Oh its one of those days 😦