My Poem Still Stands Today

With Fibro in the news a lot & the empathetic smiles from the reporters on the news as they cite Lady Gaga & other celebrities who “suffer” valiantly… I thought I would just re-iterate how many of us, behind closed doors feel.

Its not “in my head” the pain is real

So here’s a few words about how I feel

“Me” has been lost & “I” has faded

My “happy “My “fun” have all degraded

The “go-to” person who sorted out issues

Now cannot survive without tablets and tissues

 

I’m a shell, a shadow, a rambling ghost

But do you know what hurts this ghost the most?

The “looks” it gets as it moans from pains

Undisguised disbelief even though it explains.

Even worse, on days when the ghost has gone

When “I” feel like maybe, Life can go on

 

I know its fleeting when “Real Me” is back

As its anyone’s guess, till I am under attack

From this thing, this word, this condition from hell

That’s ripped up my life & consumed me as well

The friends I once laughed with, have all  disappeared

I don’t blame them , I’m boring , not me, just Weird!

My new life is now one of pain medication

Of ghosting, of fading, of complete isolation

 

Thank George for Make-UP & Snap-Chat Filters & DOGGED determination that this spoonie is gonna live hard on “good days” (by good days I mean days I can hide the pain under Tramadol, Amitryptiline & Paraceptamol, Makeup & Smiles) & know that if I crash – the 3-4 day ride was worth the 1-2 weeks in bed.

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