Pushing your Spoonie Self

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2014 after 3-4 years of misunderstood, disbelieved & sporadic pain.

Prior to this I was energetic & ambitious, I worked hard & I brought 3 children up (alone since 2002). I worked full-time, went out in the evenings, travelled up & down the country at weekends with my passion – Celeb FC & lived the life as I thought I should.

After I became unwell slowly but steadily my body couldn’t cope with my lifestyle & it pushed me to change, as did my Doctors. So eventually I had to give up work & that was the time I was supposed to relax & recoup (although anyone with Fibromyalgia will tell you there is NO recuperation… NO respite).

Also my body may have been screaming at me to slow down, but my mind didn’t get the memo. I was then & still am, constantly frustrated & upset I can’t do the things I want to do.

So here comes the routine that flies in the face of all the recommendations from Professionals. (Pacing, Relaxation, Forgive yourself for being slower etc etc etc)

I push through the pain until I am in agony, which I know will trigger a flare-up.. Then and only then I crash & forcibly rest: only to recover & do it all again.

I know from speaking to fellow spoonies that not all fibro patients respond in this way; some go to the other extreme & stop pushing themselves at all. They spend more time at home, stop socialising with friends & practically give up the fight: I think they feel like activity is going to cause more pain so they may as well stop trying.

The thing for me is… This poxy diagnosis (I don’t want to say my illness, my disability, because then I feel like I give it power) takes a LOT of getting used to (if you ever do).

What I do know is that everyone diagnosed must struggle to cope with it… We just all react differently.

This blog is bought to you today, courtesy of Dragon Speak software, Caffeine, Paracetamol, Topirimate, Tramadol, Omeprazole, Losartan, Indepamide, Amitryptiline & a few others I cant quite remember right now….

Oh & a HUGE dose of PMA – Positive Mental Attitude XXXX

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